First Class and Dead Last
by chibi heishi
Summary: One-shot.  The formation of the new Team Gai: Rock Lee/Uzumaki Naruto/Haruno Sakura and of the first Team Kakashi: Hyuga Neji/Uchiha Sasuke/Inoue Tenten.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Long, long ago, **singing ferret **left a plot bunny amongst her review to one of my stories. It brought up two immediate scenes, which I then HAD to write down, and have been sitting on my computer for almost 2 years now. Clearly, there will NOT be an actual fic out of this, but I felt I should at least show what I had. The plot bunny included: (1) Lee and Naruto being on Gai's team, (2) Neji and Tenten being on Kakashi's and (3) said teams competing against one another. Two ways to get that particular combination came to mind, and this is the one that worked itself into an actual scene. So here you go.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything here - not the world, not the characters, and not even the base idea.

**Finally:** Had this become an actual story, the other scene I have would have been much, much later on. But if anyone wants to read it anyway (or adopt this particular plot bunny) please let me know.

* * *

The noise in the hall was nearly deafening. Konoha's elders were outraged, united, for once – in condemning the Chunin who stood in front of them. But Umino Iruka stood firmly before them all, chin held high despite the pain Sarutobi knew the man had to be in. After all, only last night the teacher had taken a severe wound across his back.

And that was half of the reason the elders were so upset – most of them still believed that the Kyuubi child should have been killed years ago. That this impudent Chunin had not only saved the boy's life, but had – horror of horrors – _graduated _young Naruto into the ranks of Genin… Yes, the teacher had certainly made no friends among the village council.

The Sandaime stifled a sigh, deciding to intervene before his headache worsened – or the council tried to call for the resignation of the Academy's best teacher. Not that they could - the council were the Hokage's advisors, _not _his equals - but they could still be a pain.

"ENOUGH!" he called, his voice calm but authoritative. "Umino-san has never been wrong about his students. Doubted, sometimes. But wrong? Never. If he says that Uzumaki-kun is ready to join our Genin, then the boy will be presented to the potential Jounin sensei just like the rest of the graduates." His voice sharpened as one of the elders opened his mouth to object. "NO argument."

Sarutobi's expression softened slightly as he looked at the scarred shinobi still standing in the middle of the floor. "Iruka, go and lay down before you _fall_ down. Falcon, escort him please." The addressed ANBU nodded, and the now-blushing and faintly-protesting Chunin found himself gently escorted back to the hospital.

-o-

There was a long moment of silence, finally broken by one disappointed word. "Damn." At the almost sulky tone of the man's voice, a few chuckles ran through the room.

"Sorry, Kakashi. Looks like you won't get off as easy as you thought!" a bearded man called out around the cigar in his mouth.

The masked, silver-haired man slumped a bit in his seat before he responded. "Ah, well. I guess only having to put up with two mini-nin was too good to be true."

Another voice, softer and distinctly feminine, spoke next, her words a somber contrast to the playful joking. "Still, while it's good for the boy… this isn't going to go over well with the village." Red eyes settled on her Hokage, an apology in her gaze even as she spoke harsh truth. "I imagine that it was difficult enough to convince the village council to allow Uzumaki to keep his hitai-ate, but there will be an outcry when they find out that the 'monster' has been paired with the Uchiha boy. And likely not only from the council, but from every shinobi clan in Konoha. Can we really afford that?"

Another moment of silence, and then Kakashi shrugged with deceptive carelessness. "Well, Kurenai-san, if worst comes to worst I can always find a reason to fail the kid."

Eyes all around the room widened, heads even snapping around to stare. _Everyone_ knew that the Copy Ninja despised those who would abandon their comrades, so the fact that he would say such a thing drove home exactly how seriously – despite his nonchalant tone – he was taking the genjutsu specialist's concerns. A troubled silence fell over the room, Jounin weighing the problem and possible solutions in their minds, trying to find an answer that would be most acceptable under the circumstances.

Surprisingly, the first to speak up was the last one that they expected a serious reply from. Maito Gai – green spandex body suit, orange leg warmers, bushy eyebrows and all – stood. "I… may have a solution. It is… unconventional, at best. But if it is acceptable to those involved…"

The Sandaime gestured for him to continue, intrigued by both the seriousness and the hesitancy in the Jounin's voice. If there was one thing that Gai _wasn't_, it was hesitant. The man took a deep breath, obviously struggling with his words. "I am certain that you are all aware of Hyuuga-san's… disapproval… of my treatment of his nephew."

'_That you don't kiss the ground that the boy walks on just because of his genius, or lavish him with praise. Yes, that does upset the Hyuuga Head.'_ the Hokage thought, but held his silence. Especially since Gai was almost crying. Not the streaming tears he so often subjected those around him to, but a few small drops gathered in the corners of his eyes and held back by force of will. It was clear that this was breaking the man's heart. A small part of Sarutobi's mind noted vaguely that none of the other Jounin were moving – in fact, he wasn't entirely sure that some of them were even breathing.

"And truthfully, Neji-kun is… less than fond of me. As is Tenten-chan."

'_They think you're an idiot'_ would forever remain unsaid by those present.

"Therefore, my honored Hokage-sama, my esteemed rival… I propose a partial swap in teams. I will be willing to take on Uzumaki-kun – and the little kunoichi you paired with them – as I truly believe that he has the… the fire and youth to become… a truly great shinobi."

The man ducked his head, and not a word was ever spoken about the few tears that splashed to the floor.


	2. Notice

**NOTICE:**

As stated previously, these are two random-but-connected scenes inspired by a plot bunny left by a reviewer. **THIS IS NOT A STORY.**

This next piece assumes that Team Kakashi have been together for a few months now. It assumes that the two angst-babies, having NO sense of humor, clash rather spectacularly. Without Naruto's optimism and eagerness, what became semi-friendly teasing in canon has degraded into cruel barbs. And Kakashi is finally sick of it.

This is what I wish ONE of the adults had bothered to smack those brats upside the head with...


	3. 2nd shot

**A/N:** This should be the end of this. On the VERY off chance I ever actually make it a story, I'll take this down. Until then, someone is talking about taking up the plot bunny - if anyone is interested I can PM you when/if they do take it. Otherwise, I'm working on the next chapter of Zanzou and I'm re-doing Return.

* * *

Every day, the boys argued.

Every day, they ignored one another unless they were absolutely required to interact.

Every day, when so required, they sniped and insulted with low, venomous voices.

Every day, Tenten tried - and barely managed - to play the peacekeeper, the mediator that kept the two from actually assaulting the other.

Every day, Kakashi watched, Kakashi listened, and Kakashi lectured.

_Every. _

_Single. _

_Day. _

Today, it was too much.

"That's ENOUGH!" Kakashi snarled. All three Genin immediately snapped around to stare at their unexpectedly furious teacher. "Tenten, go home." Suddenly afraid, she backed away a few steps, but then hesitated. Tenten was clearly unwilling to leave her teammates alone with their instructor. "Now!"

Her courage abruptly failed, and the teenager bolted. The usually well balanced kunoichi ran until her feet slipped out from beneath her, spilling her to her knees in the middle of the street. Gasping for breath despite the lack of strenuous work, Tenten pressed one shaking hand over her pounding heart as she whispered. "Neji, Sasuke-kun… what have you done?"

-o-

The two boys stood frozen, shock and the first stirrings of fear in their eyes as Kakashi stalked towards them. His voice was vicious, hard and sharp as he hurled words like weapons. "Are you both so blind? Does this Village mean so little to you? You are supposed to be _Konoha shinobi_, damn it, but all you are right now is trash! You might – might! – be fit for ANBU. Not for a squad, but for assassins, for hunters."

Neji drew in a breath, almost as if he would speak - but Kakashi cut him off. The Jounin pulled off his hitai-ate, allowing the boys to see the truth reflected in his Sharingan eye. "That is NOT a good thing. That is not honorable, not a life to be proud of. It is cold and sharp and ugly."

Black eyes dropped to the ground, but Kakashi would not allow it. "Look at me. _**Look** at me_, Sasuke." Almost against his will, the boy looked back up into his teacher's face.

The man's voice was quieter now, with a cold edge that was somehow worse than his fury. "That life is exhaustion, emptiness and grief. It is your enemies wanting you dead and your people being afraid of you. It is coming back with pain in your body, with the scent of blood in your nose and the sound of your enemies' screams in your ears, and finding nothing but an empty house to greet you. Having no one to watch your back, and nothing to live for but your sense of duty. And eventually, unless you are fortunate enough to change, you will die as you lived – cold, hurting and alone. Is one man's life so important to each of you that you would damn yourselves to such a fate?"

A long moment of silence, none of the three so much as drawing breath in the tension. And then Kakashi's eyes closed, his shoulders slumping slightly as he breathed out a soft sigh. The anger bled completely out of his voice, leaving only a weary sorrow behind. "Then God help you both, because you obviously won't let me. Until Sunday, then. Dismissed."

-o-

Tenten returned home, her steps dragging as she tried to fight her own sense of failure. As she sat down to supper, her parents exchanged worried glances until her father finally spoke. "Ten, sweetheart, did something happen today?"

The girl nodded, disinterestedly pushing her food around on her plate. "The boys got in a fight again today, but… but Kakashi-sensei really got upset this time. I've been saying that I wish things would change, and now, I really think something will. I… just hope that the team can survive it."

-o-

Neji nearly stumbled his way into the hall, shock numbing his mind. As he turned the corner into the inner courtyard, a small sound caught his attention. Clouded eyes lifted, traveling from socked feet up to a hand held nervously before a pale face. "N-Neji niisan?" the girl's soft voice asked. "A-are you alr-right?"

Hinata was clearly afraid of his normally razored tongue, but her concern for him was greater than her fear. Standing in the evening light, Neji finally saw his cousin for what she was – a young girl, nearly beaten down by the weight put on her slim shoulders, but still trying to ease another's burden. The revelation floored him, leaving him standing still and silent for long minutes.

And then, for the first time, Neji bowed, willingly and respectfully. "I am so sorry, Hinata" he whispered around the sudden lump in his throat. "For everything."

-o-

Sasuke was running by the time he reached his house, his mind whirling with things he had not allowed himself to think of in years.

Things like his own future, apart from his self-assigned role as Avenger. Things like how often he had wished to join the children playing, but had never deviated from his goal. Kakashi's words painted a picture that the boy had never imagined, and wasn't ready to face. For the last five years, everything had been put on hold – after I defeat Itachi, he had told himself – but he was suddenly forced to confront the idea that, even if he succeeded, his life might not change.

Sasuke curled up on top of his bed, listening to the silence of his empty house and wrapping arms around his own waist as he shivered. Resting his head on his knees, the twelve year old finally allowed himself to cry, suddenly feeling empty, lost, and so very young.


End file.
